May 2013
Watch
When I'm drunk and everyone else has a boyfriend
howmortalsseeme:
Girl Pockets: can fit a piece of lint. if you're lucky, two pieces of lint.
Boy's Pockets: Can fit car keys, a notepad, a calculator, the neighbor's dog, an apartment complex, the entire state of Hawaii, and half of Jupiter.
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: gets in the shower
me: i have ARRIVED IN PARADISE AND I SHALL NEVER LEAVE
bueno:
things i haven’t learned in high school
how to pay bills
how to buy a house
how to buy a car
how to apply for loans for college
but thank jesus i can graph a polynomial function
smilingemoticon:
seeing your own post on your dashboard
nintendofunclub:
c0caino:
Take your age and add 5 to it. That is your age in 5 years.
me: why does no one like me
person: i like you
me: thanks
me: why does no one like me
sht-wentz:
if i ever become famous i’m going to create a fake account on twitter and tumblr and be part of my own fandom and i will be like bffs with my fans and we’ll fangirl over myself but they would have no idea it’s me
and then one day i would call them on skype and see the blood run out of their faces
worldfamousprofessor:
spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”
contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?
moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
That once in a lifetime moment when Mom agrees to...
laugh-addict:
barackfuckingobama:
barackfuckingobama:
omfg my Mom was just cutting a baguette and I snuck up behind her and gabbed the bread and ran and she was like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” and I shouted “I’M 24601” and now I’m hiding in my room with a huge baguette what do I do
Update: I’ve built a barricade
leezzee:
gallifreyangurl:
dinosaurs-on-wheels:
hoechln:
i was going to make a list of people that annoy me, but it was too long so I decided to post a pic instead.
omg i’m in the same photo as tom hiddleston
ugh, my hair looks terrible
can we do it again i blinked
urbancatfitters:
“you’re only doing that for attention”
well yeah
